Relationship

Today I am ending my first half of the life, I am going to live my second half with a women to whom I know but never lived a day before. Day started with all the pujas like haldi manjan, later bride’s brothers were here to invite me for the marriage and the following puja continued for 30-40 minutes. Right now it is 2PM here and I will be leaving for marriage in Bhadrak at 5PM. I am excited!!!!

I invited all my friends and relatives to join me on this occasion, if I forgot anyone then I am sorry for that but honestly I want all my friends and relatives to join me here. Please call me or join me in Bhadrak at the marriage venue.

This day is going to be very hectic and tiring as I can’t sleep till tomorrow 5AM. I wish everything goes fine, I will update here later tomorrow.

I wrote in my previous post that I might join my parents and relatives for my engagement and here is the answer, I did join them after several rounds of discussion with senior people. In my region people don’t encourage groom to join the celebration, if someone will try to change something then he/she will have to go through various panels to pass his/her views.

My family and relatives (50-60 people) went to join girl’s family in Bhadrak, they organized the puja in a temple. We had the puja later exchanged the ring in front of all family members. Bride’s parents booked Dixit hotel for lunch and we all ended the day after the lunch session.

I am marrying to Pragyan Jena on 11th Dec 2008. Pragyan is the eldest daughter of Mr. Pradip Jena, Bhadrak. Mr. Pradip works with State Bank of India, Bhadrak. Pragyan has a sister and a brother, both are into different colleges.

Pragyan received her Bachelors in Computer Science from Biju Patnaik University of Technology (BPUT), Bhubaneswar, India in 2007. She is currently working with Kalinga Software, Bhubaneswar.

Probably she will join me in US after 2 months from now. She will have to get her visa stamped from American Consulate, Kolkata later in January/February and fly to Chicago.

Many people went through this phase through various means and it is my turn now. I have been looking for a life partner through various means; my parents also helped me in finding one for me. No doubt that in India parent’s involvement remains high on finding a bride or groom for their children so they also make the process very tedious. They value the tradition, ethics, etc so they are also not wrong. Young generation value compatibility, mutual understanding, career goals, etc. When both are combined to find a person to get married then it is just a big mess. I have been through this process for last 3 years so I know the pain better, somehow it seems to be over as I finalized to get married to Pragyan Jena, she is from the same geographical region and she speaks my language, she eats my kind of food, she does all that what I have been doing all my life.

I am getting engaged on December 3rd, 2008 and journey to this day is just awesome. Lots of fun, pain, surprises came on my path, all these accumulated a great experience for me.

I still don’t know if I will be a part of this auspicious day or not as my tradition says it is not needed for a groom to participate. Well, whatever you say big boss(Society). It is funny to say that I got a serwani and a shoe from Kolkata for the D-day but I don’t know if I am getting an opportunity to wear that.

Here in Orissa, India, friends and relatives visit to bride’s house for a commitment puja, groom’s parents take lots of sweets, jewelries, dress and cosmetics for bride and promise the bride’s parents for a marriage over a puja. Then they all sit together to have some food which is normally organized by the bride’s family. My parents are planning to take a team of 60-70 people with them and spend 5-6 hours at bride’s house.

I might get married on December 11th, 2008, it is going to be decided tomorrow. I will write more about the bride in my next post, here is her picture for a quick look.

I will be flying to India tonight and this journey means a lot to me. I know I am getting married this time but not sure who is the bride. Isn’t it funny? Yes, it is funny, strange, unavoidable and many more. This is how many marriages go through in India and I am also a part of it. Though I never got a bit of understanding from the traditional marriage but I have no other options as I see the other kind has many flip sides as well.

I went through the process for 3 years for finding a life partner but still quite not sure who owns the race. This is universally accepted that beauties are the beast but what you think? Are the ugly ones always remain good to you? Probably many do but not all. If you find a beautiful girl with all other good qualities then you are the fortunate person in this world.

I listen to all and have my own metrics to judge the best and worst. Put in my calculator to find the result but this is something where I am having tough time. I want to decide my bride with all the facts but here it is been done on hypothesis, data is really insufficient to compute and get a result. What will be my assumptions then? Any predictions done on insufficient data could prove me wrong. Now you can see me that I am totally lost and struggling to get my ways out. Lets see how it goes.

Well, everyone will have to go through this phase at least once in a life span. If not then the handling of issues and problems is totally different for you. You belong to a category where I and max people don’t land in. I have gone through this phase and figured out the ways to handle the situation when nothing seems to work.

This situation occurs typically when you land on a place where every step you take gets you more problems or doesn’t get better at all. I will clearly describe couple of steps to follow when you land in such situation.

• Sit back, take some rest, this means keep your brain off from all the problems. Best way to go for a short vacation, watch couple of comedy movies, visit your mom, get quality food by visiting the best restaurant, spend some time with kids(if you like them), spend some time at sea shore.
• Now flush your memory, forget whatever happened to you and start it all over. Think you are totally new or novice at achieving your goal.
• Make very small goals, as small like a cancer patient makes to live happily for a day. Yes, make goals as I made to run only 3 miles after my knee injury when I ran a marathon in past. If you lost everything then recall where you started and set a goal to reach your starting point.
• Keep evaluating your success and modify your goals accordingly. Have your patience intact and keep doing the things which you are needed to do.
• End of everything is to become happy on successfully completing your goals. I know these are very small in front of your achievements in the past but don’t worry and be happy as you are on the right track which leads to the same or better position where you got your setbacks.

This post I wrote targeting a friend of mine and today he is getting 30, he thinks he has done nothing in his 30 years of life and something to do now. My dear you should know people achieve in few days which are not achieved by others in years also. Good luck and get your better future, don’t wait or cry for it just go, get it.

This is my first post on my blog. I always wanted to start my own blog but I never took my first step and install a wordpress software but some incidents does change many things in personal life.

I know many people suffer at this point, when they think about “how to end a relationship”. Most people end up with yelling, shouting and fighting with each other like one happened with me.

I had an arranged marriage proposal from a young & beautiful looking girl Shweta Ray, Mumbai. Her mother is a house wife and father is well educated working as Chief Engg. in a ship building company. I met her personally at her home in Mumbai and committed myself by offering her a ring after 3 months of the meeting.

I never liked her mom because she is showy by her nature; she always tried to pock her nose into others’ matter. I liked her dad as he seems to be down to earth and modest. I was not able to get a conclusion on Shweta’s nature but I gave her the benefit of doubt and thought might be a person like her dad as she was quite all the times I spoke to her. Which I doubt now and think that she might be as like as her mother.

How they ended the relation

One fine morning Shweta’s dad called my dad and said that they checked my social networking profile at ORKUT and found having affairs with some lady called PRIYANKA. They also saw my picture with her and scraps where I was chatting about Shweta with her, surprisingly they never proved it.

Why they ended like this?

They have been looking for alternatives as I could see shweta’s marriage profile was checked every other day. Finally they got one and didn’t find a better way to abort this marriage plan.

What they could have done?

They could have simply called me or my parents and said we are still in very early phase of this commitment so we are aborting the mission as we found a better candidate. This could be very simple and straight forward as well.

Whenever you are in a relation and want to end it for any reason then confess that to your partner and end it in a mutual understanding rather than lying to each other and ending a relationship with fights.

Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic, let us know how you would end a relationship.