Relationship

Wow!!!! Someone said time flies, isn’t it? At least it is true for me. I got married on Dec 11, 2008 and see it is already Dec 11, 2009. It is obvious that I learned many things in last 1 year and here is the time I should share with you all, who are married and who are not married. I am flying to Orlando tomorrow and I will continue to write from here while I am in the flight. Thanks to all those who wished me and those who are planning to wish me.

Give before you Ask for

We all demand/ask/ cry for everything before we give anything. The whole system doesn’t work that way, give all that you can and later demand/ask for your need. I know I have said this line in a broader form but I expect you to draw your line from here.

Patience

Some say I have no patience and few say I have lots but what I think, I hold my patience till a point if I decide not to hold it more then nothing can stop me from there. The duration of being patient has increased over last 1 year, how much that I don’t know.

Becoming more Dependent

Many times I have marked myself not getting off from my chair to get my drink, this makes me sure that I became more dependant these days by asking for help from her on silly things.

Vague Promises

I do make promises like everyone but unable to keep some of them because of several reasons, this makes me to ponder “am I making vague promises”. I don’t think so because I promise and I try my best to keep them. I always said in my college days that promises are made to be broken and here it is getting implemented on me.

Less of Cooking

When I was not married I used to cook at least twice a week and now it has become twice a month or so. Do I love cooking less? In some sense YES, in some sense NO also. I think I should cook at least 3-4 times a month.

Value of Relationship

You have always an option to go out of a relation when you are not married but in Hinduism we priest to stay married to the same lady forever and I strongly believe it because of one reason, I don’t agree with millions of things with my parents but I don’t go out and look for new parents who can agree with me on my views. I live with them happily forever so no one is perfect but we all can try to be one till the time we are live.

Understanding

This is simply bullshit for me. I remember my school days, there were fights, fun, stress but we lived together. All that I know is, if my wife can’t fight with me then I will fight with her, if she can’t make fun then I will make on her behalf, she will help me at my needs and I will help her when she needs me. This is called truly living together.

“When to Give up” is more important than “When to Start”, I think “when to give up” is more important than “when to start”. You will often come with this question in your life, there isn’t a single day that you will live without this question, better you learn when to give up on things because this is more important than anything else.

I already lived 30 years in my life and I know I didn’t start many things on right time but that didn’t hamper me a lot as I am hampered when I didn’t end something on time. When to call for an off is the most important that I learned with my experience. I am very optimistic and modest but people take you as granted when you live with such temperament. Should you change yourself as you are taken in a wrong way? No, I will never go against modesty so I will live as I always lived. What I can do in return to face people who take me as granted and gets me tough time?

Eliminate, there is a process called filtration so use that to find things/object/people that gets you problem and keep them away. Let everything to come on your way, start at any time in your life but end it when things start deliberately bothering you. If you don’t learn how to call it off than the thing/object/person will destroy you so better be picky and keep your focus on who/what are not required in your life and keep them away.

This is what I am writing as I constantly got set backs from a person with whom I have a friendship of last 20 years. This is a time to call it off. I don’t require such people in my life.

Today I am ending my first half of the life, I am going to live my second half with a women to whom I know but never lived a day before. Day started with all the pujas like haldi manjan, later bride’s brothers were here to invite me for the marriage and the following puja continued for 30-40 minutes. Right now it is 2PM here and I will be leaving for marriage in Bhadrak at 5PM. I am excited!!!!

I invited all my friends and relatives to join me on this occasion, if I forgot anyone then I am sorry for that but honestly I want all my friends and relatives to join me here. Please call me or join me in Bhadrak at the marriage venue.

This day is going to be very hectic and tiring as I can’t sleep till tomorrow 5AM. I wish everything goes fine, I will update here later tomorrow.









 

I wrote in my previous post that I might join my parents and relatives for my engagement and here is the answer, I did join them after several rounds of discussion with senior people. In my region people don’t encourage groom to join the celebration, if someone will try to change something then he/she will have to go through various panels to pass his/her views.

My family and relatives (50-60 people) went to join girl’s family in Bhadrak, they organized the puja in a temple. We had the puja later exchanged the ring in front of all family members. Bride’s parents booked Dixit hotel for lunch and we all ended the day after the lunch session.

I am marrying to Pragyan Jena on 11th Dec 2008. Pragyan is the eldest daughter of Mr. Pradip Jena, Bhadrak. Mr. Pradip works with State Bank of India, Bhadrak. Pragyan has a sister and a brother, both are into different colleges.

Pragyan received her Bachelors in Computer Science from Biju Patnaik University of Technology (BPUT), Bhubaneswar, India in 2007. She is currently working with Kalinga Software, Bhubaneswar.

Probably she will join me in US after 2 months from now. She will have to get her visa stamped from American Consulate, Kolkata later in January/February and fly to Chicago.

Many people went through this phase through various means and it is my turn now. I have been looking for a life partner through various means; my parents also helped me in finding one for me. No doubt that in India parent’s involvement remains high on finding a bride or groom for their children so they also make the process very tedious. They value the tradition, ethics, etc so they are also not wrong. Young generation value compatibility, mutual understanding, career goals, etc. When both are combined to find a person to get married then it is just a big mess. I have been through this process for last 3 years so I know the pain better, somehow it seems to be over as I finalized to get married to Pragyan Jena, she is from the same geographical region and she speaks my language, she eats my kind of food, she does all that what I have been doing all my life.

I am getting engaged on December 3rd, 2008 and journey to this day is just awesome. Lots of fun, pain, surprises came on my path, all these accumulated a great experience for me.

I still don’t know if I will be a part of this auspicious day or not as my tradition says it is not needed for a groom to participate. Well, whatever you say big boss(Society). It is funny to say that I got a serwani and a shoe from Kolkata for the D-day but I don’t know if I am getting an opportunity to wear that.

Here in Orissa, India, friends and relatives visit to bride’s house for a commitment puja, groom’s parents take lots of sweets, jewelries, dress and cosmetics for bride and promise the bride’s parents for a marriage over a puja. Then they all sit together to have some food which is normally organized by the bride’s family. My parents are planning to take a team of 60-70 people with them and spend 5-6 hours at bride’s house.

I might get married on December 11th, 2008, it is going to be decided tomorrow. I will write more about the bride in my next post, here is her picture for a quick look.

I will be flying to India tonight and this journey means a lot to me. I know I am getting married this time but not sure who is the bride. Isn’t it funny? Yes, it is funny, strange, unavoidable and many more. This is how many marriages go through in India and I am also a part of it. Though I never got a bit of understanding from the traditional marriage but I have no other options as I see the other kind has many flip sides as well.

I went through the process for 3 years for finding a life partner but still quite not sure who owns the race. This is universally accepted that beauties are the beast but what you think? Are the ugly ones always remain good to you? Probably many do but not all. If you find a beautiful girl with all other good qualities then you are the fortunate person in this world.

I listen to all and have my own metrics to judge the best and worst. Put in my calculator to find the result but this is something where I am having tough time. I want to decide my bride with all the facts but here it is been done on hypothesis, data is really insufficient to compute and get a result. What will be my assumptions then? Any predictions done on insufficient data could prove me wrong. Now you can see me that I am totally lost and struggling to get my ways out. Lets see how it goes.

Well, everyone will have to go through this phase at least once in a life span. If not then the handling of issues and problems is totally different for you. You belong to a category where I and max people don’t land in. I have gone through this phase and figured out the ways to handle the situation when nothing seems to work.

This situation occurs typically when you land on a place where every step you take gets you more problems or doesn’t get better at all. I will clearly describe couple of steps to follow when you land in such situation.

• Sit back, take some rest, this means keep your brain off from all the problems. Best way to go for a short vacation, watch couple of comedy movies, visit your mom, get quality food by visiting the best restaurant, spend some time with kids(if you like them), spend some time at sea shore.
• Now flush your memory, forget whatever happened to you and start it all over. Think you are totally new or novice at achieving your goal.
• Make very small goals, as small like a cancer patient makes to live happily for a day. Yes, make goals as I made to run only 3 miles after my knee injury when I ran a marathon in past. If you lost everything then recall where you started and set a goal to reach your starting point.
• Keep evaluating your success and modify your goals accordingly. Have your patience intact and keep doing the things which you are needed to do.
• End of everything is to become happy on successfully completing your goals. I know these are very small in front of your achievements in the past but don’t worry and be happy as you are on the right track which leads to the same or better position where you got your setbacks.

This post I wrote targeting a friend of mine and today he is getting 30, he thinks he has done nothing in his 30 years of life and something to do now. My dear you should know people achieve in few days which are not achieved by others in years also. Good luck and get your better future, don’t wait or cry for it just go, get it.

This is my first post on my blog. I always wanted to start my own blog but I never took my first step and install a wordpress software but some incidents does change many things in personal life.

I know many people suffer at this point, when they think about “how to end a relationship”. Most people end up with yelling, shouting and fighting with each other like one happened with me.

I had an arranged marriage proposal from a young & beautiful looking girl. I met her personally at her home and committed myself by offering her a ring after 3 months of the meeting.

How they ended the relation

One fine morning Girl’s dad called my dad and said that they checked my social networking profile at ORKUT and found having affairs with some lady called PRIYANKA. They also saw my picture with her and scraps where I was chatting about the girl with her, surprisingly they never proved it.

Why they ended like this?

They have been looking for alternatives as I could see girl’s marriage profile was checked every other day. Finally they got one and didn’t find a better way to abort this marriage plan.

What they could have done?

They could have simply called me or my parents and said we are still in very early phase of this commitment so we are aborting the mission as we found a better candidate. This could be very simple and straight forward as well.

Whenever you are in a relation and want to end it for any reason then confess that to your partner and end it in a mutual understanding rather than lying to each other and ending a relationship with fights.

Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic, let us know how you would end a relationship.